Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sweet moment

Last night Ella woke up at 11:30pm crying for some reason. Usually we let her cry herself back to sleep (in a matter of a few minutes typically) as going to her to attempt to soothe her usually just upsets her more and prolongs her going back to sleep. Last night, though, I just wanted to go to her. I found her standing in her crib, in her sleep sack, whimpering away. I rubbed her head and kissed her before picking her up. She immediately quieted down. We sat in the rocking chair and I put her on my shoulder and rubbed her back. She scratched at the chair with her fingernails as she fought to lay her head down on my shoulder. In a matter of minutes though, her head was snuggled into my neck and she was asleep. I sat there rocking and rubbing her back as I prayed for her. It was strange to have her be so still. So sweet feeling the warmth of her little body as I gently rubbed her tiny back. I listened to her breathe and felt her body rise and fall. I sat there for a whole 30 minutes, not wanting to put her back in her crib. I hadn't had a moment like this since the very early months. Ella absolutely refuses to sit still now and almost never falls asleep on me anymore. Dave finally came into the room to check on us and after 10 more minutes, convinced me to lay her back in her crib. Usually she wakes when we put her down and sometimes cries. Last night though, she just rolled onto her side, sighed deeply and went right back to sleep.

Perhaps I was a little more emotional last night since my beloved grandmother passed away just a few days ago. Life seems to go so quickly, and the years are only moving faster and faster. For those 30 minutes I held Ella life seemed to stand still. I wish life would slow down. I'd love Ella to stay 10 months old for a little longer. I'm not ready for her to be a 1 year old, which is rapidly approaching.

I pray every night that God blesses her abundantly; that her life is filled with love, happiness and faith. She continues to amaze me with each day. I've never known love like the love I have for my little girl.

I love you so much Ella!!

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